Fire

2011-08-08T13:39:00.001-04:00

"Life's Flame"

Love is a source of many great troubles.

But lacking love

is a disgrace

for travelers upon this path.

Love is the life force of the entire universe--

those who lack love

are already dead.

Awhad al-Din Kirmani

What kind of fire is burning within you right now? Is it a slow and steady flame consisting of LOVE and PASSION? Is it a roaring, out of control flame of ANGER? Is it a flame of FEAR that leaves you at risk of easily by extinguished with the slightest breeze?

Like anyone else, I have experienced each of these flames at one point or another in my life. We all have the ability to choose to feed our love and passion while letting our fears die out. Personally, after another year of relationship, health, and financial challenges, I am choosing love over fear. Somedays are easier than others. Slowly, over time the ability to choose love is burning stronger and stronger. I have noticed a huge shift in moments in which I would have previously been angry for an extended period of time. Now, I am moving past the anger and fear much quicker.

When a three year relationship ended in a broken engagement and cancelled wedding, I was very angry and hurt. Yet, I quickly realized that I had nothing to fear. Prior to that, I spent many days stuck in a state of anger and fear, retelling my “story” over and over again to anyone that would listen. Then, after opening my eyes to the reality--that my partner did not really want to be in a relationship with me--I wrote the following on a digital post-it note on my laptop:

I deserve better.

I am intelligent, gorgeous, lovable and worthy of respect and a healthy relationship.

I will move on and be stronger than ever.

I know what I want in a partner and will trust that God will bring him to me when the time is right.

I am happy alone.

I am not defective and don't need therapy. I need a partner that is a better match.

Each day I would read this giant digital post-it and start to feel like my fire within was slowly starting to return. I spent about two days crying, mourning, and praying. Then, I woke up on the third post-break up day a changed person. My life was in my control again, my mood instantly improved, and I felt a huge sense of closure. My heart and mind felt clear, at ease, and totally confident that just as I had written on my intentions list, God would bring me a truly loving life partner.

I began to open up to changes within other areas of my life. I have had an opportunity to explore what I am passionate about and start pursuing some of my dreams. I have decided to continue to pursue the development of my photography business, Ness Photography, and to begin this blog. My fire within is burning bright as I acknowledge and put steps into place to live the life of my dreams. I feel purpose, drive, and a sense of excitement with each new day.

What kind of fire will you create in your inner space?

Go within and meditate on the following prayer: "God, help me allow an inner fire of love to burn so bright that it's glow can be seen in all areas of my life."

Farm Baby in CT

Fire